The marketing for the upcoming Just Die Already has taken a dirty turn as the developers are shilling old people bathwater to raise funds. Kind of. Not really.
Getting inches on websites isn’t easy but a surefire way to get your game mentioned on Pure PlayStation is to mention bathwater and old people. Don’t look at our search history.
Curve Digital and Doublemoose Games have come up with a novel way to promote the upcoming Just Die Already – a game that’s essentially GTA: Geriatrics. The concept? Selling off old people’s bathwater in jars for money, much like some streamer did a while ago. Except… these jars of bathwater resemble piss, most likely because old people struggle with their bladders at the best of time, never mind when they’re in a body of water. It’s an open invitation, really. We’ve all been there…
The website is “selling” the jars of bathwater/urine for $30 a pop, plus additional shipping fees.
“Rise and shine! This water is collected first thing in the morning to capture the authentic crisp out of bed flavor. Our old people were scrubbed and soaped briskly and then lightly rinsed off. The result is a light, fresh, casual flavour profile fitting for any time of day.
Our bath waters are carefully extracted, instantly vacuum sealed and stored at a low temperature to preserve flavour and freshness.”
Part of the “product” page is dedicated to answering some questions, like shipping fees and what happens to the money you spend. Apparently, the money will be used to fund update for Just Die Already, as well as half of the funds going directly to the old people providing the bathwater.
“Half of the revenue will go to providing free updates for our game Just Die Already and the other half will go to the old people providing the bathwater. Along with your purchase, you will get a flier that tells you the name and some more details about the old person that your bathwater comes from.”
But is it true? The website says that there’s no more stock left, but was there any stock in the first place? I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t think I want to know either. Because if there was stock, there isn’t anymore, which means some dirty sods somewhere are waiting on packages for what is probably a 60/40 split of piss and bathwater.
Just Die Already is coming soon to consoles, though there’s no release date as of yet.