Review: Tour de France 2019 – PS4

I’m not going to lie – I have zero interest in Tour de France, no matter which year it is being held. Unfortunately, that’s pretty much the stance of everybody else here at Pure PlayStation, so when a review code dropped and I offered to the group, nobody even answered me. When this happens, I’m the poor muggins left to carry the torch and get the review done. So if you are a Tour de France fan, my apologies if my terminology is somewhat off.
Tour de France 2019 is a game that, in my opinion, just doesn’t have a reason to exist. That’s not a slight on the people who have spent their time creating it, not at all. It’s just that I can’t really see how you can make such a passive sport interesting as a game. Like, I’ve seen it on the telly and I’ve always wondered where the actual enjoyment in watching this sport lies. It’s not like Nascar or Formula 1, where you can at least see the racers doing their thing. In Tour de France, you literally stand at the side of the road, cheer as they pass you by, and then that’s it. You’re done. Unless you’re planning on hopping on your own bike to follow, I’m not sure there’s much else to see. You’d think, then, that actually taking part in the bicycling would be a little more interesting? Nope. Not in the slightest.

Right, let’s get things straight. I did the training mode and that was enough to sour me off the game within minutes. Still, I persevered and took a crack at the main event itself, the Tour de France. There are a few screens you need to button-mash (or read and carefully select the team you’re joining…) before you can actually get into the race. There’s no point rushing, though, as once you’re actually in the race things go downhill very quickly. That wasn’t a pun. Thing’s get crap.
For one, every single racer looks the same. I’m not even joking. They’ve all got the same character model, which just looks ridiculous. Are there no famous Tour de France competitors? Apparently not, so the developers got Dave from down the pub to have his face scanned and called it a job well done. It’s weird and reeks of low-effort. In fact, the entire game just looks poor. It really wouldn’t look out of place as a PS3 release. An early PS3 release.
Being the dick that I am, the first thing I tried to do once the race began was to crash into the other riders and cause mayhem. That would have been a good reason to go back and play it again. Mangled arms and legs, twisted bicycles, and the cries of pain. Unfortunately, it’s not a feature. The game’s physics don’t allow it. Shame. I’ve seen some clips on YouTube of some spectacular Tour de France pile ups and I was inspired. Alas, it’s not to be.

So, what is there to do? Honestly, not a lot. You’ll spend your time maintaining your riders energy levels, and that’s it. If you go for broke too early, you’ll be screwed before you’ve done the first 20 kilometres. It’s all about balance and energy management. No, it’s not fun in the slightest. I got bored early on and decided to see what my clone could do, so I depleted his energy bars until I heard someone over the radio saying I was going to “blow up.” Honestly, blow up. I kept my finger held down on R2 to keep the clone going, hoping for an explosion of clone juice. It never came, the game lied to me, so I turned it off.
Honestly, this was a write off from the beginning. I can’t see why these games are made, I really can’t. That being said, there must be an audience for them if they keep getting released every year. If you’re a casual fan of two-wheeled transport, look elsewhere. If you’re one of those loons who journey’s to France every year to stand at the side of the road while men in tight shorts pass you by, go nuts, this game is for you.

Tour de France 2019 PS4 Review

• 4/10
  Overall - Bad - 4/10

4/10

Summary

A game is supposed to be fun. Tour de France 2019 is not fun in any kind of way, at least not for me. I suppose if you’re a hardcore Tour de France fan, you’ll find something to enjoy here, but for everyone else: skip it. Go out and actually ride a bike. If you don’t have a bike, pretend. You’ll still have a better time than sitting indoors with this “game.”